When I noticed them, the boy had given a small package to the girl and she was unwrapping the gift. I immediately recognized it as a book because we had been to the nearby bookstore and the wrapping paper looked familiar.
So I could only decipher the word “Kafka” in the title. And this sight touched my heart. Here were two teenagers, perhaps high school seniors, sharing their love of the lofty ideas of a literary masterpiece.
Let me quickly explain that this encounter occurred in a restaurant in the small Italian town of Monza two days before Christmas. The idea is not to praise the reading habits of young Italians, as this may only be an exceptional case. What I want to highlight is the practice of exchanging gifts during the Christmas and New Year holidays. I’ve been thinking about what this means in the context of building relationships in a partnership.
Of course, there are many other aspects to this experience of being in Italy during this season. It matters that my wife and I are not tourists. We are visiting our youngest daughter who has been here for twelve long years. Thus, we have intimate access to Italian families and have participated in many seasonal festivities.
There is certainly a religious connotation to the entire ritual of gift-giving at Christmas. Let me quote a few words from a Google search: “Gift-giving has its roots in pagan rituals celebrated during winter. When Christianity incorporated these rituals into Christmas, the justification for bringing gifts was redirected to the Three Wise Men, the Three Wise Men, who gave gifts to the baby Jesus. But in early modern Europe, it also had its roots in Christian begging.”
The gifts are then placed under the Christmas tree and family members gather to open them on the morning of Christmas Day. But this practice, in its secular extension, has incorporated friends and associates. It would seem as if everyone is giving and receiving gifts. Consequently, the markets come alive with all kinds of merchandise that can be chosen as gifts. There is a whole range of what may be an appropriate gift for a particular person.
Children, naturally, are the main beneficiaries of this tradition and toy stores are packed this season. But I loved the rush I saw in bookstores. I’ve been to three in Monza and each one of them is bigger than any I know in Karachi. Italian translations of the latest English bestsellers are available and the atmosphere found in a bookstore is very happy and inspiring.
This joy associated with Christmas is undoubtedly similar to all the important holidays celebrated in different religions and societies. We have our Eid and it also brings families together and there is an atmosphere of festivity that precedes the festival. The Eidi that elders are obliged to give to younger relatives is a welcome gift, although it should not be reciprocated.
In reality, all festivals serve to make our lives more meaningful and foster a sense of togetherness. Christmas is somewhat distinguished by its link to the New Year, which is celebrated on a separate level. We all have our own ways of making the old resonate and the new resonate. From there I have the story of how we celebrated the New Year in Monza, including with huge fireworks that we witnessed from our windows.
However, the New Year requires some reference to what the year of departure was like in both the collective and personal context. This means that it will surely be a celebration tinged with many regrets. The past year has been tumultuous in many ways. The tragedy of the Middle East has continued to become more tragic. Some other wars and unrest are being left until the New Year. Consider this amazing paradox that Jesus was born in a land they ignored during the Christmas holidays.
A feature of New Year celebrations is that we make resolutions for the coming year and the emphasis here is on making our lives, on a personal level, better and happier. The media has ample suggestions in this regard. Much attention is devoted to improving our physical and mental health. This is a difficult task, especially in a country like ours.
This idea of setting personal goals to make our lives more bearable takes me back to the practice of exchanging gifts with our loved ones. I’ve read a lot about research showing that our interpersonal relationships are crucial to our well-being. These relationships protect us against depression and anxiety. That image of the two teenagers I saw in a restaurant stuck in my mind.
They both seemed so bright and full of life and were apparently in love with each other. For me, Kafka’s book was a testament to the promise of a brave new world. Is that world within the reach of today’s young people, those who have the capacity to think, dream and love?
Unfortunately, I cannot relate this thought to the current state of youth in Pakistan. But I’m somewhere far away right now, in these frigid winter days, and I may be allowed some fantastic ideas about what’s possible and what’s not. It may not last, but I am currently feeling the warmth of a ceremony I attended on Christmas Eve.
It was held in an old castle and the family had invited close relatives and friends who had come from many other places. It was an inclusive meeting. The party ended with a large bonfire on the castle grounds. Someone passed around pieces of cinnamon to throw into the fire for good luck and with a wish. I did that too.
Disclaimer: The views expressed in this article are those of the writer and do not necessarily reflect the editorial policy of PakGazette.tv.
The writer is an experienced journalist. He can be contacted at: [email protected]
Originally published in The News
