This story discusses suicide. If you or someone you know you have thoughts about suicide, contact the suicide and crisis lifeline at 988 or 1-800-273-Talk (8255).
The Right Tackle of the Indianapolis Colts, Braden Smith, fought more than just opposing the edge rushers last season.
Smith, 29, was fighting a war inside his head and lost the last five games of the Colts season. It was placed on the list of reserve/no football diseases.
Smith was finally diagnosed with religious scrupulity by a psychiatrist. Religious scrupolence is a form of TOC that is characterized as obsessive thoughts and compulsions focused on religious issues, such as sin, God and religious practices of the person.
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The offensive Tackle of the Indianapolis Colts, Braden Smith, walks along the bank during the Tennessee Titans game at the Nissan Stadium in Nashville, on December 3,2023. (IMAGN)
“There is the real, real, true and living God,” Smith told the Indy star. “And then there is my God Toc, and the god of OB is this condemnation (deity). It is like every wrong movement you do, it’s like hitting the ruler against his hand. ‘Another bad movement like that, and you are out of here.'”
“I was physically present, but I was nowhere, I didn’t care to play football. I didn’t care to hang out with my family, with my wife, with my newborn son … (I felt that) I was one month after putting a bullet in my brain.”
When Smith thought badly, he would immediately respond with a compulsive prayer or an internal declaration of devotion.
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Indianapolis Colts Tackle, Braden Smith, blocks the Pittsburgh Steelers, the external supporter TJ Watt at the Lucas Oil stadium on November 28, 2022. (Trevor Ruszkowski-USA Today Sports)
Smith was taking medications and participating in daily therapy sessions, but only offered temporary relief.
Just before the Thanksgiving, Smith’s wife, Courtney, gave her an option.
He could continue with the medications and the daily therapy sessions, or move away from football and verify an intensive mental health center to address the problem.
Smith knew it was time to get away.
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The offensive Tackle of the Indianapolis Colts Braden Smith in Action during the Houston Texans game at NRG Stadium on September 17, 2023. (Maria Lysaker-USA Today Sports)
Smith then recorded in a Colorado installation, planning to stay for four weeks.
Instead, he was there for 48 days, but they didn’t progress much.
“It’s a very desperate feeling,” said Smith. “And that’s where Ibogaine enters. This was like the last effort for me.”
Ibogaine is an alkaloid of psychoactive indol known for its psychedelic effects and is illegal in the United States.
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The offensive Tackle of the Indianapolis Colts, Braden Smith, defends against the Houston Texans at the NRG stadium on September 17, 2023. (Troy taormina-USA Today Sports)
“Ibogaine legitimately restores your brain,” Smith told the newspaper. “Imagine your brain as a ski slope, and create all these grooves, from all these paths that are happening, and remain deeper and deeper. Those are the habits we create, and over time, as, it will not be possible to create a new path, because that is so deep. Ibogaína will literally clarify those, as the receptors in their brain.”
During his trip to Mexico to try Ibogaine, Smith took a different psychedelic that showed positive results. He took the synthetic version of 5-Meo-DMT, which is a natural psychedelic produced in plants and is seen in the poison of some toads.
After taking 5-Meo-Dmt, Smith felt that he was in contact with the real God, and was intimately one with him. It seemed that the demons were being exorcied, and he no longer felt indebted to the god of OCD.
“I still have Toc, but I don’t have a control over me,” said Smith. “Do not dictate my life.”
The offensive Tackle of the Colts, Braden Smith, moves against the Houston Texans at Lucas Oil Stadium in Indianapolis on January 6, 2024. (IMAGN)
Colts expect Smith to return to the fold in the playing field.
“Withdrawing Braden Smith, and is in a great place,” said the general manager of the Colts, Chris Ballard, through the Indy star. “I think people forget how good Braden is.”
Smith has spent his entire seven -year career with the Colts after he was taken with his second round selection in the Auburn 2018 2018 Draft.
