Hello Haya,
I’m a teenager and I’ve been feeling quite stressed lately. I could really use your guidance to find some solutions to my problems.
I have several ambitions and goals for my career and future, and while they continue to motivate me, they can also be quite overwhelming at times. I often keep worrying about being perfect at it, achieving enough, and fear of falling behind, which eventually affects my mental health.
Would you have any advice on how I can manage this stress in a healthy way, try to balance my goals and also take care of my mental health?
— An ambitious teenager
Dear ambitious teenager,
Thanks for sharing your query. Something many young adults could relate to.
It’s great to hear about your ambitions and dreams, and they continue to motivate you, but I also hear that they tend to overwhelm you. The worry that they are perfect and the fear of being left behind are impacting your mental health.
When you constantly mix pressure with perfectionism, your ambition can turn into constant worry, leading your nervous system to always remain in “alert mode.” Over time, that can become exhausting, affecting mood, sleep, confidence and motivation, taking you away from what your true goals are.
A key factor to keep in mind about perfectionism is that it is often rooted in fear. The fear of not being enough, the fear of disappointment, the fear of not being enough. Awareness is always the first step to change.
One point to remember: Stress does not mean something is wrong with you. It means you care.
Your ambition is your strength, but it needs structure and direction to optimize it. Let’s take a look at what we can do.
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Create a vision board
Get a board and put up pictures of all the goals you have for yourself. Be specific. For example, if there is a financial goal you want to achieve, a certain level of health you want to achieve, a certain career, etc.
Create smart goals
On a piece of paper, list all the goals you want to achieve in the next 10 years. Once you’ve listed them, break them down into five-year goals and one-year goals. Divide annuals into monthly goals and daily goals. Goals should be smart: specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and time-bound. When goals are vague, such as “I need to succeed or I should do more,” the brain will remain anxious because it doesn’t know when it’s safe to relax.
Zoom in, don’t zoom out
You feel overwhelmed because you are trying to plan your entire future at once. Focus on the next small step, the next skill, and the next step.
Focus on progress over perfection
Perfection always delays action. Progress breeds confidence. Ask yourself: What is the smallest imperfect action I can take today?
Focus on other areas of your life
You must focus on other aspects of your life to develop mental strength simultaneously. For example, exercising and getting a restful sleep. This will keep you strong and active.
Work on your way of thinking
Whenever you feel like you’re not doing enough, work to actively reset your mindset. For example, I am doing the best I can. I work every day to achieve my short and long term goals. Remember all the things you are doing.
Work on your perfectionism and fears.
The two feelings are usually linked to the beliefs you have about yourself. Work on the relationship you have with yourself and you will notice that the rest will begin to fall into place.
Regulation of the nervous system
You need a safe, grounded nervous system to plan your future. You can do this through breath work, grounding, or finding what else works for you.
Remember, you need a grounded nervous system and clear, actionable goals to plan your entire future. Your job is not to be perfect, your job is to progress while protecting your mental health.
Start with this and see how it goes. If this is still too overwhelming for you, I suggest working with a therapist and coach to help you create the life you can’t stop thinking about.
And remember, nothing is impossible, if your mind can conceive it, you can do it. You got this!
Best wishes,
Is
Haya Malik is a psychotherapist, neurolinguistic programming (NLP) practitioner, corporate wellness strategist, and trainer with experience in creating organizational cultures focused on wellness and mental health awareness.
Send him your questions by filling out this form or sending an email [email protected]
Note: The advice and opinions above are the author’s and specific to the query. We strongly recommend our readers to consult relevant experts or professionals for personalized advice and solutions. The author and PakGazette.tv assume no responsibility for the consequences of actions taken based on the information provided here. All published articles are subject to editing for grammar and clarity.
