Dear there,
I am introverted and really struggles to socialize. It was never a concern in my single life, but after my commitment, this has made my life a slightly challenging life, as my in -laws are waiting as long as they are always available DawatsWeddings and social meetings within the circles of their family and friends.
My own family is not very outgoing and we have always enjoyed the company’s company at home. This does not mean that we have never left or assisted meetings, but it has always been moderate. With my in -laws, however, socializing and leaving is very frequent.
I’m just worried that I fight long after marriage. Would you have any advice on whether I should discuss this with my parents, since this is an organized configuration or handle this on my own, which would mean that I would have to do everything possible to adapt to your paths? Please guide.
-A socially anxious bride
Socially anxious bride
First, congratulations! Secondly, I’m glad to see you so well about you. Self -awareness is a great gift, as long as we learn to use it to support us, not to turn it against ourselves.
I listen to several layers in your note: the temperament of being introverted, the transition to join a new family and the pressure of cultural expectations. Approaching these layers can carefully prevent you from feeling divided by “honoring me” and “honoring my in -laws.”
Let me start remembering you gently: introversion is not a defect. It is a biological preference for lower levels of external stimulation. It is an energy management style, not a deficit of social skills. When seen neutrally, it becomes easier to navigate. You are not bad in socialization, it simply resumes differently. The objective is to honor that rhythm and at the same time honoring their relations.
At the same time, I see his struggle to marry soon in a family where the frequency of socialization is much more than is accustomed and is causing feelings of overwhelming, concern and discomfort.
You have spent your whole life with your own family, so there is a built -in comfort zone: over the years, they have tuned with the temperaments of the other and developed mutual understanding effortlessly, all of which takes time.
Getting married is a big change on its own; However, he is leaving his comfort zone, so yes, that will cause discomfort. Although you cannot avoid this change, it can be better prepared to relieve the transition.
Let’s take a look at how you can take advantage of your self -awareness to stay.
Recognize and accept your temperament
As mentioned, its introversion is not about lacking social skills, it is about how it manages and preserves its energy. Instead of seeing it as a struggle to socialize, try to re -apply it as understand its energy limits. It works better in others when you have had the space to recharge, and it is completely good to recognize that there is a limit of how much you can assume socially.
Start with your fiance, not your in -laws
His future spouse is his closest ally in this transition. Give yourself to build an open and honest communication with it. Let it enter how social situations affect you, what you feel overwhelming, where your limits are and what helps you recharge. Share his concerns with him, not as complaints, but as an invitation for mutual support and understanding. This feels the foundations for navigating your new life together as a team.
Manage your expectations
Know that in the early stage of marriage, there will be a surplus of social obligations, much more than is accustomed at this time, so it is important to prepare mentally for this temporal change. Remember, this increased frequency will not last forever; It will be relieved as it is accommodated in its new family dynamics. During this period, prioritize giving the space and time necessary to recharge.
Frame the conversation about ‘energy’, not ‘avoid’ with in -laws
As you begin to settle in your new family and to build relationships gradually, you can begin to gently share what helps you work at your best. People are often more receptive when they listen to what supports their well -being instead of what drains it. For example, instead of saying: “I can’t handle great meetings,” you could say: “I really want to have dinner: the biggest events seem easier to me when I had a quiet night in advance.” When you frame your needs in terms of how it recharges, instead of what you are avoiding, it invites understanding instead of resistance. It’s not about putting excuses, it’s about offering self -awareness with grace and respect.
Eventually find a rhythm that suits you
Trying to attend each Dawat Or the wedding can be unrealistic for you in the long term, but avoiding them could forcing family ties. As it is established, it would need to find a rhythm that honors itself and your family.
Involve your parents if you add support, not anxiety
Since this is an organized configuration, involving their parents could be useful, if the circumstances are correct. If you anticipate possible misunderstandings, and your parents share a respectful and comfortable relationship with your in -laws, you can gently advocate you or offer a bit of context that support your adjustment.
However, it is important to pause and ask yourself: will your participation bring clarity or add tension? Sometimes, more voices can complicate dynamics. But if their parents are likely to be well received and can offer a brief and reflective warning about their nature and needs, the transition could be relieved. Choose what you feel emotionally safe and support for you.
Build a small exhibition now
An excellent way to prepare is through the exhibition. Present yourself with the type of situations that you will navigate after marriage. Practice attending some additional meetings before the wedding so that the new routine does not hit you as a wave of tides. Treat each output as data: What did you help? What drained you? Adjust accordingly.
Protect your central rituals
Protect the habits that recharge you: Time of tranquility of the morning, walkers alone, daily. When they are in place, it will enter social spaces with a more complete emotional tank.
Remember: Relationships prosper in authenticity and compassionate limits. Families value sincerity much more than perfect assistance; Marriage is a society, not a performance. By communicating your needs early, establishing reflective limits and knowing your family halfway, is modeling mutual respect and creating deeper and warmer connections in the long term, much more significant than attending each event, but feeling resentful or exhausted.
Wishing the best, and if at any time you still feel overwhelming, do not hesitate to communicate with a therapist who can walk with you with support adapted to your unique trip.
– Is
Hay Malik is a psychotherapist, a neurolinguistic programming practitioner (NLP), corporate and trainer welfare strategist with experience in the creation of organizational cultures focused on well -being and raising awareness about mental health.
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