Hello, there are,
I am a single mother of three children and I divorced a year ago. I have done my best to stand up for my children, but sometimes I find it very difficult to be motivated.
After my divorce, I stayed with my family for a few months, but I managed to find a space for children and me, so that we are not a burden to anyone. I am proud to have made that great decision because living in that marriage was impossible. It is also a relief that my children, who have witnessed my suffering, support my decision, but sometimes I feel sad that they now have to live a life with difficulties thanks to me. I am doing my best and I keep them through a teaching job, but I know that a lot of work will be needed to give them everything they need to lead a good life.
I wanted to ask him how I can stay motivated, not necessarily for me, but for my children who now depend completely on me. I feel very lost and demotivated on this trip. Please guide.
– A single mother demotivated
Dear single mother,
First, I want to recognize the incredible strength and resistance that has been demonstrated by navigating for such a challenging period of his life. Making the decision to leave an impossible situation and build a life for you and your children requires immense value. The love and determination that you have for your children are so evident in your words and they are your greatest motivators, although it may not feel that way.
It is clear that you are already doing incredible job as a mother, even if you don’t always feel that way. The fact that their children support their decision show that they see and appreciate their strength, even if they do not express it all the time.
Feeling lost and demotivated is completely natural to feel, especially when it carries so much concern and responsibility. You are browsing both the emotional weight of your divorce and the practical challenges of being a single mother, which is not a small transition.
Before continuing more, I would like you to stop and recognize how far you have arrived and recognize your trip so far. Sometimes we are so focused on looking to the future, we forget how far we have come.
When it comes to motivation, always waiting to be motivated is an ineffective strategy. Motivation comes and goes and, therefore, is not reliable. However, something that can keep it underway is to connect with your “why”, its purpose. Why do you do what you do? And from what he has shared, his “why” seems deeply rooted in creating a better and healthy life for their children. When things get difficult, remind you of the progress you have already done and the vision you have for them can help you stay.
The following are some of the things that would consciously encourage you to do:
Grant and recognize your little victories
We are often so trapped how much more we have to go over high how much progress we have already achieved. Focusing only on the ultimate goal may seem overwhelming, instead of focusing on the next little step forward. Remembering the obstacles he has already overcome, how to find a home for his family and maintain his teaching work, can help him appreciate how far he has come and the progress he continues to do.
Take time for yourself
This may sound impossible for you, but it could even be 10 to 20 minutes before children wake up. A small simple routine before starting the day can make you feel more punished and in control of yourself, giving you greater mental and emotional stability. To take care of your children, you must first take care of yourself.
Rely on your support system
Although he has achieved incredible progress in the creation of independence, staying connected to friends or family of support or even people with similar trips can help lighten their emotional burden. A brief conversation with someone who understands can make a difference.
Self -pity practice
It is normal to feel guilt or doubt, especially as a mother. When these feelings arise, try to speak with themselves as I would do with a close friend, with kindness and understanding. Remember that providing a loving and peaceful environment for your children is already a tremendous gift.
Process your feelings
You have gone through a lot and as much as you need to continue advancing, you must also process what has happened and cry the life that you thought you would have. I would recommend that you work with a therapist for some time to help you in the process.
Focus on progress, not perfection
Their children do not need a perfect life: they need a happy and resistant mother. By prioritizing their well -being together with yours, they are teaching them powerful lessons about courage and perseverance.
Good luck for your trip ahead, you are doing a remarkable job, one day at the same time. Wish you all the best.
– Is
Hay Malik is a psychotherapist, a neurolinguistic programming practitioner (NLP), corporate and trainer welfare strategist with experience in the creation of organizational cultures focused on well -being and raising awareness about mental health.
Send your questions to [email protected]
Note: The previous advice and opinions are those of the author and specific of the consultation. We strongly recommend that our readers consult experts or relevant professionals to obtain personalized advice and solutions. The author and PakGazette.TV assume no responsibility for the consequences of the actions taken based on the information provided in this document. All published pieces are subject to edition to improve grammar and clarity.
