In Pakistan, we have witnessed several episodes of violence, harassment, repression and even murder of several women in the various layers of our economic strata.
From the rich Noor Mukaddam to the little Zainab totally unknown, we have seen innumerable girls and women of all age groups suffer at the hands of the most brutal and violent men. The nation cries, talks about that everywhere, condemns it too, but then forget until the next cycle of violence affects another girl/woman.
What we do not do is look inside our homes, our society and our social structures to see that we are perhaps raising the same type of males within our homes whose actions may not appear in national headlines today, but they certainly have the same ability to face the incorrect holders later in life. It is time for us to focus more on the male child and try to raise better children.
If we observe an average home, the entire approach is in the girl. From its appearance, to your clothes, to the way you walk, speak, eat or even think it is analyzed through a microscopic vision often results in constant conferences, arguments, scolding and sometimes even mental and physical abuse. She has to learn to live inside a cage from the day she is born. It may be loved a lot at home, but the demands of family values and society reign in the hearts and minds of the male parents and brothers, and it is expected that only it will be the carrier of those values, belief and morality systems throughout their lives.
He is taught to obey, continue and not dare to dream. Marriage and not education or a career is to be its ambition. Families also raise it as the property of another person and try to turn it into a perfect wife for them to give it sooner rather than later. In other words, she becomes the only approach, tension and anxiety of the whole home.
In the midst of all this, the male child often rises differently. Born with a natural sense of freedom, challenge and authority. He is given the space to question, command and even dictate inside and outside the house. You can use whatever you want, you can walk, sit or sleep any form you want, and you have the option of saying nothing.
The mantra of ‘Boys Will Be Boys allows a greater acceptability of being macho, exhibiting bravuconería and temperament. The male child is raised with a great feeling of privilege for being a man in the house. Therefore, there is no tutoring about any family value, moral codes or social pressures. Many children do not have to literally register or visit anything.
The nights or every night with small or soft questions is a rule in many houses. Then, while the sisters are hidden to be prepared to be obedient and morally correct women, children do not support such training or expectations. They can get yours with murder.
As a consequence of the above, the daily life of most girls and most boys are marked by aggression and violence against women in many homes. Society has listened and seen innumerable episodes of harassment and even subjugation, and today’s country is called the most dangerous place for women in the world.
According to the annual global gender gap report of the World Economic Forum, Pakistan has now fallen to the last place, classifying 148 of 148 countries. This last statistic is not a shock or a deviation of what many have been screaming and fighting.
Simply the correction of many women and men who have raised their voices to make this country a better place for the other part of the population.
A key element that greatly lacks in the early childhood education of the male child, both at home and in schools, is the focus on emotional intelligence. This approach will actually solve many social problems of our country.
Teaching children how to regulate their emotions can lead to crime prevention, addiction prevention and suicide prevention. This is how we stop raising adult men who exploit, implio or turn off at first sight of discomfort and disagreement.
Emotional regulation is not just a soft ability but survival. It is the basis of a society where people can disagree without dehumanizing each other, where responsibility is not seen as an attack and the conflict does not always have to mean violence. If we want a better society, we must instill emotional regulation/intelligence in the education of our children in early childhood.
Our children should also teach the meaning and importance of consent. They must be taught from the beginning that when a girl says no, it means not. He must understand that, like him, she also has the right to her body, mind and focus on life. She is also human and is simply different from him. That he must learn to treat her as a human and not look at her as a claimant.
Perhaps a slightly more detailed understanding of the woman’s biological cycle will make it very understand about moods, attitudes and the general perspective of a woman in life. This would certainly contribute largely to stop the “mensplaining” or undermine many things related to a woman.
At the end of the day, a child also needs a model to remain healthy. Since children also tend to simulate their parents, it is important that parents also realize that raising their children is also their responsibility. It is not just the mother’s JD to raise children.
The father also needs to implement good habits, good works and what is acceptable behavior or not. If a father is none of those factors, it will be a model to follow miserable for the child, since, most likely, it will grow unfortunately like him. However, if the father is respectful of the mother, he accepts his views and treats her as an equal, the son will also be like him.
It is crucial to educate our children about how important gender equality is and what is misogyny and how horrible and unacceptable it is. They must be raised as feminists and are informed about the important role that a woman plays both inside and also, if not more, also outside the houses, not only for the home but also for a nation.
You must see, listen, read and understand the female models of the family, the country and the world. Finally, it should be taught that real men can also cry, since there is nothing wrong with expressing this feeling and that men really do not make girls ever cry.
In the end, it is sure to ask our media to show more works such as Qarz-E-Jaan, which shows the impact of a child’s poor education, played very well for Nameer Khan. It is important to tell schools to better prepare our children. And it is extremely important that our parents concentrate much more on our children, and that also from the first years.
Discharge of responsibility: The views expressed in this piece are those of the writer and do not necessarily reflect the Editorial Policy of PakGazette.TV
The writer is an International Baccalaureate educator and consultant (IB). The Tweets/Publications: @tbandey
Originally published in the news
