Dear there,
I can’t feel happy and feel very numb. I am not sure if it is related to certain past traumas or not, but I no longer feel certain emotions. I barely remember the last time I was happy.
Please guide me on how I can feel more connected to my emotions.
Dear Anon,
Thanks for communicating with what you are happening. Value is needed to name the sensation of emotional numbness that is experiencing, a state that can often feel confused, isolate and even scary. While I do not know the total reach of its history, what has described is something that many people experience, particularly those who have suffered prolonged stress, unresolved trauma or emotional overvaluation.
The fact that he is arriving and is aware of himself is a positive sign alone. And the first sign of recovery is to recognize the signs.
In response to your consultation, happiness is an emotion like many other emotions that must be felt. That does not mean that we will feel happy all the time, but there will be times when we will experience moments of happiness.
If in the past, you have not experienced any emotion, that is alarming.
Let’s take a look to see emotional numbness.
The first thing to know is that emotional numbness is not a defect or a failure, it is actually the way to protect it from your body. When emotional pain becomes too overwhelming or lasts too long, your nervous system can respond “closing” your access to feelings. This is a survival response, not a conscious choice. It is how his system tries to protect him from the pain that he felt too big to handle at that time.
This type of closure is especially common in people who have experienced trauma. And it is important to understand it: trauma does not always seem like a great dramatic event. It can be anything that feels too fast, too fast or too soon for your nervous system to process them. It could have happened in childhood, during his adolescence or even in adulthood. And sometimes, it is not what happened, but how alone or insecure you felt while it happened.
When these experiences are not completely processed, they often accumulate the emotions linked to them, not because we want, but because we had to do it, only to pass. Over time, this emotional “freezing” becomes a second nature. It can make you feel cut not only by painful emotions, but also of joy, connection, vitality and even love. That is the painful paradox of emotional numbness: it keeps pain outside, but also keeps good things too.
You may not consciously remember everything that happened, but your body does. As the saying goes, “the body keeps the score.” Every experience we are going through, especially those that we do not completely process, leave a brand in the nervous system. And when the nervous system feels stuck, it can lead to a persistent state of emotional numbness.
Our nervous system has several natural responses to stress: fight, flight, freezing and cervatillo. These are normal and necessary survival states. Ideally, we enter and leave them depending on what we need at the time. But when we are trapped in one of them, such as the state of freezing, it can lead to feel emotionally closed, disconnected or numb.
From what has described, it seems that your nervous system could be in a frozen response. This means that his body is trying to protect him by staying still, calmly and emotionally “offline.” It is not your fault. And you are not broken.
The good news is: Like your adapted system to survive, you can also learn to feel again. Healing is possible. Start with understanding what is happening inside you, gently reconnect with your body and learn that it is sure to feel again, a small step at the same time.
Let’s see how you can recover:
The first step towards reconnection is not to force the feelings to return, but to make space gently for them. It is possible to recover from a state of freezing in the nervous system, but requires patience, compassion and soft steps. The freezing response often occurs when the body feels overwhelmed and helpless, so healing requires creating a sense of safety, connection and movement again, slowly and consistently.
1. Start safely
His nervous system needs to know that he is now safe, even if he did not feel safe in the past. This begins with the development of emotional security within yourself. Are there moments on your day you feel a bit safe, quiet or on land? Try to raise awareness about these micro-momments and expand them slowly. Recognize them. Make sure: “I’m safe right now.” You may not feel it immediately, but repeating this softly you can start to wire your system.
2. Connect again with the body – gently
Full care practices, such as body scanning, ground connection or soft breathing, can help you reconnect with sensations in your body, which are the entrance door to emotion. Start your mornings with breathing work (there are many guided meditations that can help you with this information timer for example, calm)
3. Name what you feel (even if it’s nothing)
Try to say out loud or write: “At this time, I feel numb or I don’t know what I am feeling” to name it without judging it creates space. Even if it is nothing, it is still a form of emotional honesty. Over time, you can notice flashes of other emotions, such as sadness, calm or even curiosity.
4. Participate in work and creative expression movement
Expression and movement are excellent ways to cure the nervous system. For example, the newspaper, music or light movement such as yoga or walking will help express and release what is stored inside.
5. Work with a trauma therapist (if possible)
Trained therapists in somatic therapy, EMDR or approaches informed by polyvagal can be deeply supportive to guide it back to a regulated state.
Remember, you are not broken. Numbness is not the absence of emotion: it is the way your body to face too much, too fast, for too long. Getting out of a freezing state is not about getting it out; It is more like slowly defrosting after being in the cold for a long time. As sensations and emotions begin to return, you can feel uncomfortable, but that is a sign that your system is awakening. Healing does not happen at the same time, but gradually and carefully. Give yourself permission to move at your own pace. His body is wise: he has been protecting you and, with soft support, he can learn that it is safe to feel it again.
– Is
Hay Malik is a psychotherapist, a neurolinguistic programming practitioner (NLP), corporate and trainer welfare strategist with experience in the creation of organizational cultures focused on well -being and raising awareness about mental health.
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