Hannah Murray opens up about the terrifying events that led to her decision to leave Hollywood.
In a new interview with the guardian promoting his upcoming memoirs, Fantasy: a memory of magic and madnessMurray detailed how a seemingly harmless “wellness cult” eventually led to hallucinations, paranoia and a 28-day psychiatric hospitalization.
“I had no idea I was going to go over any of the things in the book,” Murray admitted. “I thought, ‘I’m smart. I make good decisions.’ Well, I made terrible decisions.”
The actress said she was initially drawn to the group after struggling emotionally while filming the 2017 film. detroit. What began as a positive healing session slowly evolved into deeper involvement in a spiritual organization run by a man she calls “Steve.”
“He exuded power in a way that I had never known anyone to exude it,” she recalled. “Magical power… I knew I was in the presence of a wizard.”
Things came to a head during a retreat in London, where Murray said he began hallucinating and hearing voices. At one point, he believed he could “save the world” and “fly.” He eventually locked himself in a bathroom while members of the group reportedly chanted, “Go away, evil spirit in Hannah.”
Murray was subsequently detained under the Mental Health Act and diagnosed with bipolar disorder. The experience ultimately changed the course of his life and career.
Now retired from acting, Murray, 36, said she hopes sharing her story will help break the stigma surrounding serious mental illness.
“I thought it was very important to say, ‘I went through this,’” he shared.
