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It all started in Green Bay, Wisconsin. He then moved onto a muddy pitch in February against Sudbury Town in England, eventually facing Lionel Messi and playing every minute of a World Cup.
My mentality was always the same: the tunnel mentality.
When you enter the tunnel, you have a couple of minutes of calm before the storm. You have to dig deep within yourself and create unbreakable trust. Someone chose you to be there, so while it’s easy to think “I’m going to get crushed,” sometimes you have to convince yourself that you belong.
In the 2010 World Cup, Bob Bradley was a master at picking the right players for the right situations. I knew that a good team has all the same characters; It’s full of different. He knew which characters were needed at the right time.
Jay Demerit (right) played every minute of the United States’ four games at the 2010 World Cup. (Ezra Shaw/Getty Images)
Anyone who knows me knows that I am a character. I wasn’t afraid because I had gone through the hardest parts of my journey to get to the position where he could choose me.
When you enter a race from the back of the line like I did, coming from Wisconsin, I had to fight to belong in the field since I was 17 or 18 years old. And at that age, you’re also trying to prove to yourself that you’re good enough.
What I’ve learned from being in those tunnels throughout my career is that as you line up in front of your opponents and wait for the referee to come out, there is a pause: a calm before the storm. That’s where the tunnel mentality comes into play.
This also applies to all areas of life. If you’re interviewing for a job you’ve dreamed of, you’ve worked hard to get to that moment.
For me, it was the tunnel. I have lined up alongside Lionel Messi, Wayne Rooney, Cristiano Ronaldo, the best of the best.
When the time comes to go into battle, you must dig deep within yourself and create the savagery and confidence necessary to ensure you are unbreakable. It requires a lot of advertising.
Lionel Messi tangles with Jay DeMerit on March 26, 2011 in East Rutherford, New Jersey. (Jeff Zelevansky/Getty Images)
The first moment
When I arrived at Watford in 2004, I played two seasons in the Championship. There were very good players in that league and I also got to play at Anfield in the FA Cup.
However, we were promoted to the Premier League in 2006, and the first time I looked down the tunnel and thought, “Here we go,” was against Manchester United in our third league game of the season. It was at home at Vicorage Road, a 20,000-capacity stadium. That year I was vice-captain and then became captain of the club. Not only is it a new league and better competition, but it also comes with more responsibility.
We were waiting in the tunnel for the United team, which was full of international stars. Edwin van der Sar was in goal. Paul Scholes and Michael Carrick were in midfield. On the United flanks were Ryan Giggs and Ronaldo.
I saw the Manchester United crest on the shirts and thought: Okay, you’re in the Prem now, big guy. Are you ready to go?” It’s very easy to look at Ronaldo and think, “Oh my God, he’s that handsome.” But my tunnel mentality kept me focused.
Cristiano Ronaldo anticipates a tackle by Jay Demerit during a 2007 FA Cup semi-final. (Stu Forster/Getty Images)
These are the two key steps to that mindset:
1. Gain confidence
The question I asked myself: How are you going to be the best version of yourself? And no one knew it better than me. For me it was gaining an immense level of confidence. I relied on the fact that someone believed I could go out in front of these people and play well, so I should too.
2. Work ethics
I always say: work on what you’re really good at in the light and work on what you’re not so good at in the dark.
For me the light was very simple. My job was to win the ball and give it to someone better than me. I had two rules for doing that.
I could be lean and get in front of the attackers, manually controlling them and postponing that player’s first touch. In those moments, I imagine myself doing my best and winning those challenges.
I always had the “I can do this” mentality. I have to go out and kick Ronaldo. I went out and tested Rooney’s tenacity. I tried Didier Drogba on air for 90 minutes. Do you know how many people would stand in line for that opportunity and give their left leg for it? I’m going out with purpose and confidence.
Jay Demerit withstands a challenge from Wayne Rooney. (Richard Heathcote/Getty Images)
It’s very easy to get into the idea of ”How are we going to beat these guys?” I always did my best to put my mind in a place where I could walk in control and feel empowered.
I think we’re missing that on the development side of the game, working on the things you’re not good at, whether it’s physical or mental. If you focus on that, when you get to those light moments, you better be refined, you better be prepared.
Thrown into the fire with America
My first start with the United States national team was against Lionel Messi and Argentina in the 2007 Copa América. That summer also included the Gold Cup, which saw me on the bench, so the second team was in action in that tournament.
I played against Messi when he was still number 19. My job was to mark Hernán Crespo, who at that time was one of the best scorers in the world. In the center of the field, Juan Román Riquelme pulled the strings. It was a star-studded lineup.
At the end of the day, if you don’t believe you belong there and you don’t know how to convince yourself that you do, your performances will never be good. I was someone who really loved going into those environments as a renegade spirit.
You’ll always know who the strongest and fastest players are at the highest level, but who can keep their mind straight when everything is chaotic? Who can keep calm?
I had the ability to stand in that tunnel and be the same player whether I was playing in front of two people or in front of 100,000. I really put a lot of mental effort into getting to that point.
